Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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