That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
