Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
