i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
