dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
