Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
