This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
