I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
