just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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