i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
