Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
