im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
