dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
