sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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