Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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