where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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