I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize