I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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