I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
