but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
