Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
