How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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