she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How does one acquire holy water?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
