I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
