I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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