that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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