ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
