i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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