one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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