Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love having hate sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
