shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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