Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
