I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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