I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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