This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
