He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize