Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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