I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
