WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
