He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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