dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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