You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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