i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
