Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
