As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
