I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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