If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
