I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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