You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
