In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
