in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
