Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
