JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
