wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
