I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
