this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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