the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i need some magic done to my vagina
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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