You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
