So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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