How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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